The Introverted Thinker Newsletter #003
On building an 'Inner Citadel' to help emotional outbursts, a podcast episode on the hateful ramifications of cult religions, and a novel that taught me invaluable lessons.
How are you all doing, friends👋?
This week I’ve included a section of an article I’m writing on a philosophical practice to help stabilize irrational emotional outbursts (something I struggle with.)
I hope you all enjoy this weeks newsletter 😊
Clamp Down on Emotional Volatility Through Fortifying Your Inner Citadel
I’m an extremely sensitive person, this philosophical practice helped me not take everything to heart.
I scream in anger until my voice turns into a raspy croak, a ghost of my voice remains. I smash my wall when the rage comes over me like an unstoppable tsunami. I hide from others, fearing vulnerability and how I may be judged.
In other words, I am extremely emotional. My irrational sensitivity turns me into a rotting carcass of this strong-minded and philosophical person I think of myself to be.
My emotional outburst are my pitfall, as I am sure yours are to you. How many times have you acted out of pure instinctive emotions, only to find yourself cleaning up the messy trail you’ve left behind you, as you hurt and push away those around you.
For me, it’s a pattern.
Part of me would like to blame it on the fact I’m Italian, as we are known for our fiery and passionate personalities, but part of me also recognizes this won't be fixed unless I hold myself accountable.
The ancient philosophers of Rome had a concept called the Inner Citadel. It’s a mental fortress where nothing from the outside can harm the peace and serenity of the inside. The tumultuous events of your life can’t break through the mental fortress you have developed.
It’s a trait that sets apart the great leaders from the weak followers.
As of recently, I’ve found myself repeatedly trying to fortify my Inner Citadel, and I have become more stoic in my demeanor, in a way that my irrational outbursts no longer leave me in a slump that lasts for days.
I’ve learned how to try and not take things to heart and not let them reach the vulnerable aspect of myself, where other people's words turn into a raging fire that protrudes from my body and damages everything around me.
Examples of Inner Citadels Across History⚔️
The first form of the Inner Citadel and its idea to reach a state of incorruptible and fortified emotional presence comes from the Stoics. A few quotes from Marcus Aurelius below demonstrate the idea of the Inner Citadel.
“Things cannot touch the Soul.”
“They have no access to the Soul.”
“They cannot produce our judgments.”
“They are outside of us.”
“They themselves know nothing, and by themselves they affirm nothing.”
(Meditations IV, 3, 10; V, 19; VI, 52; IX, 15)
This approach of having an unshakeable fortress within the mind is credited to these ancient philosophers. Their whole idea was centered around ways to reshape, strengthen, and prepare them for the tumultuous events that could hit them at any moment.
Many philosophers from Ancient Rome and Greece viewed themselves as mental athletes — always training the brain.
The brain has to be strengthened and built up just like any other muscle on your body. The goal is for us to have the ability to be able to repeat this strengthening process until muscle memory kicks in, and we can react rationally to the challenging situation at hand.
The Jewish people have been persecuted for millennia. Their livelihoods have been destructed countless times through history, whether it be the Holocaust or other stories in the bible.
The point is that the Jewish people have had to rebuild their communities, but not in the physical forms.
During times where being Jewish was a crime in Nazi Germany, they couldn't rebuild their temples of worship. They had to create them in their minds, as places of retreat when the persecution and mass-murdering became too much to handle.
As Ryan Holiday says, “The temple became a metaphysical one, located independently in the mind of every believer.” The purpose of this was so wherever they were, be it starving to death or forced into exile, they could withdraw into the temple of their minds, to give them strength and reassurance.
That is the purest example of an inner citadel.
How Trying To Fortify My Own Inner Citadel Has Helped Me🧘♂️
This whole idea is built upon the premise that whatever adversity you face, whether it be an insulting comment that would usually send you into a frenzy of rage, or a sad moment like a breakup, we can keep it outside the barriers of the Inner Citadel.
No adversity can break these walls down.
However, what is crucial to understand is that no one is born with a perfectly fortified citadel within their mind. This is a lifetime practice of conditioning yourself to stay rational and calm at all times. It has to be actively reinforced in every area of life.
No one is born with a support system built of titanium, it’s a gradual strengthening process.
I’ve slowly started to build the resistance of my Inner Citadel so that during the positive times I can add to its strength, but during the hard times, I can rely on it for support to keep me calm.
“We protect our inner fortress so it may protect us.” — Ryan Holiday
There are times where I feel like exploding, whether it be with tears of sadness or hateful rage. I can’t change the fact that these emotions will always exist in the depths of my soul, they exist for everyone.
No matter how much philosophy I read, or meditation I do, these emotions will always come out. It’s part of our primal instincts.
I used to withdraw from the world, from my family, and from everything else. I thought if I was alone, no one would ever trigger me. I used to fantasize about living alone in a cabin in the woods for the rest of my life because I thought my irrational emotional volatility was too sensitive to coexist along with others.
But this isn't reality. Reality and maturity told me that I had to become strong, mentally. That is the only way to do it.
David Goggins uses the analogy of a cookie jar which I think perfectly ties in with the concept of an Inner Citadel.
What is the cookie jar?
Whenever you are feeling beat down, discouraged, sad, or any other negative emotion, you reach into your cookie jar. You have to imagine this imaginary cookie jar is filled with all your greatest achievements and proudest moments.
So whenever you need to pick yourself up in terms of morale or motivation, you reach into the cookie jar, remind yourself of a time where you beat the odds and made yourself proud, and get on with your day.
“You have to remind yourself of how badass you really are in times of need. That’s the fucking cookie jar.” — David Goggins
The cookie jar is another idea that echoes the concept of having a mental fortress that protects you from the negative emotions of daily life.
A Great Podcast Episode on Religion and Atheism:
The Joe Rogan Experience #974 with Megan Phelps-Roper
This lady in the picture above is an ex-member of the notoriously hateful West Boro Baptist Church, an infamous cult based in Kansas. Here’s a little background knowledge on who these guys are.
The West Boro Baptist Church are an extremist Christian cult who was founded by Fred Phelps in 1954 (the grandfather of the woman on the podcast above). They are most well known for their homophobic, antisemitic, transphobic, islamophobic, anti-athiest and anti-soldier protests.
They basically hold protests quite frequently and hold up these signs with absurdly hateful comments, believing that they are right and everyone who believes different from them are going to hell.
Here you can see them protesting at the funerals of dead soldiers, believing they are evil for idolizing the nation.
This is their most frequented and well known sign ‘God Hates Fags’. As you can see, they are a hateful Christian cult, their official website is even called godhatesfags.com
However, Megan Phelps broke free and decided to leave behind the cult in 2012, and Twitter out of all places was how she was convinced.
Despite coming from such an irrational and hateful group, it’s amazing to see how compassionate, well-spoken, intelligent, and empathetic Megan Phelps is. She is truly a gem of a person and it’s hard to see how she was raised in such a hateful environment for the first 20 odd years of her life.
In this close to 3 hour episode, she talks about her life in the cult, how she broke free, and the way she came to realize that the bible and its teachings weren’t actually correct. She currently identifies with no religion.
She discusses everything from the moment she started to have doubts about her church’s teachings, to how Twitter was so integral in her role in leaving the church, she even met her husband there.
The sad part of this is when she talks about the relationship with her family, and how it was severed the moment she decided to leave the church. This is because the West Boro Baptist Church view all outsiders as evil enemies doomed for hell.
It is an amazingly insightful episode about how damaging religion can be when it becomes interpreted in the wrong way. It’s well worth the listen to understand the reasoning and logistics of how hateful extremist Christian groups operate.
My New Favourite Novel📚:
Normal People by Sally Rooney
After three sittings, I finished this book. The moment I read the last page I shot right back to the front and read it again. Yes, you understood that right. I read this book twice in a row last week, that is how amazing it is.
If you are from the UK it’s impossible you haven’t heard of this, because the show is even more popular than the book.
The novel is about two teenagers called Marianne and Connell in their last year of high school, who live in a small town in the west of Ireland. The book follows the passionate and heart-breaking dynamic between these two characters all the way up to they finish university.
Marianne and Connel are from two very different socio-economic background within their community. They are also very different socially in the environment of school with popularity etc…
Connel is this popular and good looking lad, who we get to know as the story progresses and Marianne is this very unpopular and often regarded as ugly, girl.
However, Connell has a side that he doesn’t show his popular friends, an intellectual side that adores reading books, writing, and being invested in political causes. Marianne is very much the same as him in this aspect, and as the story progresses they both flourish together and find themselves.
Their relationships starts with a hidden sexual relationship.
This is a masterpiece of a novel, no description will ever do this book justice because it’s that good.
It’s the best lovestory I’ve ever read. It’s so much more than just a romance novel. It goes so much deeper below the surface about world politics and the impact that relationships can have on your life.
I never read romance novels, because I have no interest in them. But I honestly think everyone should order this book right now regardless of if this is a genre of choice for you.
For me the most important lesson and insight I took away from this was the impact and role one relationship or one person can have in your life. Just because you choose to pursue one person out of love, it can change the whole trajectory of your life.
It really sheds light on the developmental aspect about young love and how crucial it is to human nature, especially as you approach adulthood/ in early adulthood. It is also such a thought provoking novel on a whole about sexual relationships and much more.
I gave this book a 5/5 on Goodreads. My words will never do it justice, go read it.
The Thinker of the Week
Every week, I include a key historical thinker who has impacted the world through their thoughts and actions. They can vary from philosophers, artists, designers, psychologists, sociologists, writers, eastern meditators, and political theorists.
Arthur Schopenhauer 1788-1860🇩🇪
Arthur Schopenhauer was a German 19th-century philosopher. He was the first serious Western Philosopher to become infatuated by Budddhism - and his thoughts are best described as a Western interpretation to the enlightenment found in Buddhist thought.
The philosophy of Schopenhauer starts with naming a primary force inside of us which he thinks of as the most powerful thing. This was our reason, logic, or moral sense, which he called the Will-to Life.
The Will-to-Life is the thing that pushes us forward everyday, making us cling on to whatever form of life we may have to make our lives easier.
However, as every 15th-19th century Western Philosopher does, Schopenhauer has some pretty negative views about human nature. He thinks this Will-to-Life is blind, dumb, and inconsistent, in that it draws us towards one thing; sex.
According to Schopenhauer, from an early adolescent age, the Will-to-Life enthralls us with the possibilities of erotic scenarios and makes us do extremely strange things, all to just fall in love with someone.
Schopenhauer is very intricately and comdeically gloomy about human nature, as he describes it in an oddy beautiful way.
“There is only one inborn error, and that is the notion that we exist in order to be happy... So long as we persist in this inborn error... the world seems to us full of contradictions. For at every step, in things great and small, we are bound to experience that the world and life are certainly not arranged for the purpose of maintaining a happy existence... hence the countenances of almost all elderly persons wear the expression of what is called disappointment.”
Schopenhauer provides us with two solutions to these existential problems we have with our own existence. One of them is to spend as long as we can with art and philosophy, whose purpose is to show us how our efforts that create feelings of disappointment and sadness are created by our Will-to-Life.
Schopenhauer believes that the Will-to-Life is often responsible for our suffering and misery, but when we immerse ourselves in long walks with some poetry or a good book, it allows us to step back from life and look at the world around us without illusion.
Thanks again for reading.❤️
If you got this far, you must’ve liked it, so please do me a favour and click that share button, I’d be forever grateful.
Until next Sunday!👋
Love this Julian. I love the concept of the inner fortress. Marcus Aurelius also says something on similar lines, how it's important to cherish and protect your inner life.
Also, love Schopenhauer. I'm yet to read deeply into his ideas but at first blush, they seem very interesting
Really interesting content :-) the concept of an inner citadel has given me some confidence.